While i drove to back home tonight there're so many things in my mind. All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. I thought a lot about everything, about all the things that have been, all the things that haven’t been and all the things yet to be. I know it's kinda lame to write these cheesy things but i couldn't help it.
Let's cut the shit part, i'm quiet shocked you showed up last night, in my little celebration, you didn't even say anything on my birthday and you didn't showed up among of our friends in that day, i mean, how dare you, asshole.
I don't even know when these things started, you-and-me-thingy. All i knew we always put all the jokes between us, whatever happen between us it's always been a joke. Until i realized these things aren't funny anymore, i remember one night i couldn't help myself to tell you the truth about my friends made a fun of us, and i didn't. Yet finally you texted me and i met you in the next day, that was the first time that i'm sure there's something between us. Day by day i couldn't help myself falling for you, i know i fell a little bit harder than i should. I always wanted to be with you anytime, i wanted to share everything with you, and i trusted you. Guess i was wrong. I should've known there're no hope for what we'd done, in the other hand, you might think i was just a fool, ignorant, dim-witted girl that just in your life for couple of months, right?
Let me tell you this one,
i never take serious for whatever they made of fun about us, for everything you ever said to me and you done to me, because i know a guy like you never take serious either so why do i bother. I always told myself just don't get attached for this one, since this things started i really don't a single damn about you but somehow you made me believe it there're something real between us. And i did believe it. Do you remember the night when i was so mad at you? You thought i was mad because you bothered me while i was with my friends and i was being a totally bitch to you, the truth is i was mad because you always come and go anytime you want. You just can't call me said the sweet talks and done things then you leave pretend there's nothing ever happen, and when you need me i always there for you. And after the fight i swallowed my pride to apologized to you, i did it because i was afraid to lose you. Just with you i could ask something, tell what i feel, say sorry to you easily, you know those things aren't my things, words and feels. At that time that i'm sure, i was falling in love with you, i was deeply, madly, desperately in love with you.
Then all i knew you left again.
When i was so sure my feelings with you.
Sometimes i have to learn giving up is the best choice, for my own good. Being with you was so, i don't know how to say in word...... weird. It's like i don't have any power to control myself, and it's so bad. You're not even worth to fight for but all i do was fighting for you, you always hurt me with your stupid sick jokes, you can make me happy as hell then you bring me down in the other second, you keep leaving me after you get what you want and yet you still coming back to me, and the stupid thing is i always there for you. I can't say no to you. I know i was so easy for you so then you thought you could play easy on me, God, i should play this game a little bit longer but i am done. And the saddest part is, i will never say things like this to you. My feelings. My minds. And it will forever left unsaid. Because you won't care anyway so i see where it will end.
hey, why i need you to feel happy?
You in my life are both mistake and blessing, i have to admit i was happy with you, with all your silly acts that always made my days, yet it was such a shame we used to be together but now even we're in one place we pretend there's nothing ever happen between us, though our friends will never know all they know we are still jokes to them. I don't hate you for all you've done to me because i knew i was wrong too, but can you do a little last favor, all i want is let's past be the past, you know what i mean.
It hurts like hell but i knew we better off this way, you will find another girl you looking for, and i, someday, will finish my school here and back to Jakarta and totally forget about you, and us.
Hey asshole, i know you're fragile little boy who always want to make people happy around you, sometimes it's okay to be not okay you know. But in the end i always hope you will always be good and be happy as always.
i promise this will be the latest time i write about you.
Then all i knew you left again.
When i was so sure my feelings with you.
Sometimes i have to learn giving up is the best choice, for my own good. Being with you was so, i don't know how to say in word...... weird. It's like i don't have any power to control myself, and it's so bad. You're not even worth to fight for but all i do was fighting for you, you always hurt me with your stupid sick jokes, you can make me happy as hell then you bring me down in the other second, you keep leaving me after you get what you want and yet you still coming back to me, and the stupid thing is i always there for you. I can't say no to you. I know i was so easy for you so then you thought you could play easy on me, God, i should play this game a little bit longer but i am done. And the saddest part is, i will never say things like this to you. My feelings. My minds. And it will forever left unsaid. Because you won't care anyway so i see where it will end.
hey, why i need you to feel happy?
You in my life are both mistake and blessing, i have to admit i was happy with you, with all your silly acts that always made my days, yet it was such a shame we used to be together but now even we're in one place we pretend there's nothing ever happen between us, though our friends will never know all they know we are still jokes to them. I don't hate you for all you've done to me because i knew i was wrong too, but can you do a little last favor, all i want is let's past be the past, you know what i mean.
It hurts like hell but i knew we better off this way, you will find another girl you looking for, and i, someday, will finish my school here and back to Jakarta and totally forget about you, and us.
Hey asshole, i know you're fragile little boy who always want to make people happy around you, sometimes it's okay to be not okay you know. But in the end i always hope you will always be good and be happy as always.
i promise this will be the latest time i write about you.
Finally i have guts to say this,
goodbye.
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